Reevaluating SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST Part 1: Episode 73 – “Girl Hair”

We live in a time dominated by an abundance of television programs, many of which one is expected to be aware of in order to be considered media literate. Prestige TV, as it is called, is seemingly everywhere. From HBO and AMC, to the newer upstart networks fighting for a share of the television landscape, everyone is racing to crank out the latest critically-lauded binge-a-thon.

Many argue that the era of prestige TV was kicked off with the arrival of shows like The Sopranos or The Wire around the turn of the millennium. Some may say that the first glimmers of the era of truly excellent television were seen as early as the premiere of HBO’s Oz. This is all wrong and these people don’t know what they’re talking about.

The era of prestige television truly got its start in 1994 with the arrival of Space Ghost Coast To Coast on The Cartoon Network.

In honour of the upcoming 25th anniversary of the inception of the great era of television in which we live, I have decided to take a look back at randomly selected episodes of Space Ghost Coast To Coast, the greatest television program that ever shall be.

Using Google’s random number generator, I have selected episode 73 – “Girl Hair”

The Plot

Space Ghost and Zorak are at each other’s throats again! The tension is only mildly dissipated by the arrival of teen heartthrobs Hanson, whose beautiful girl hair becomes the object of Space Ghost’s obsession. Space Ghost takes the young musicians on a not-at-all creepy camping trip and then back to his apartment.

Later, as Space Ghost drives the boys back to the studio, his spaceship runs over and kills the Tooth Fairy. As he believe that Hanson were witnesses to a crime that he had just committed, Space Ghosts fires them off into the depths of space, à la Superman 2.

Upon his return to the studio, Space Ghost does not wish to speak to Hanson’s dad to explain where they are, and he wonders what to do with all of the bags of teeth that he is now in possession of. Santa Claus arrives with the desire to take the teeth off of Space Ghost’s hands, but is revealed to be a demonic Santa impostor. The Tooth Fairy arrives, claiming that Space Ghost had in fact killed a robotic doppelganger that she deploys in order to throw demonic Santa off of her trail, and proceeds to battle demonic Santa for ownership of the bags of teeth.

Space Ghost is confused.

The Guests

This episode was released in 1999 at the peak of Hanson’s popularity. The Hanson boys provide decent fodder for Space Ghost and his crew to bounce nonsensical jokes around, and they certainly seem to be game to play along as the interview progresses. That said, they themselves are not funny or charming. Actually, each of them manages to be a different shade of irritating at one point or another. It is a relief to see them consigned to the icy reaches of deep space.

Guest Grade: D+

Best Line

“The little one looks like Claudia Schiffer.”

Episode MVP

I’ll award this episode to Space Ghost for disposing of Hanson and for his spooky “The Oasis of the Headless Mad Comber of Comb Mountain” story.

Honourable mention to imposter demon Santa Claus.

Episode Grade: B-

While this isn’t going to be anyone’s favourite episode of SG:C2C, it manages some pretty inspired gags and particularly begins to pick up once Space Ghost takes his guests off-set. The story-capper involving a battle over childrens’ teeth works as some very nice icing on the cake. Cringe-worthy moments involving Hanson only put a slight damper on the festivities.

Good job, everyone.