Doing Things People Like Doing: Pretending To Be A Journalist By Writing A Blog

If you’re anything like me, you like to spend a good chunk of your free time writing piles and piles of words that you can then foist upon your friends and family under the guise of “my writing”. When you have an opinion about something, it instantly becomes more credible if you present it to people buried in 500-1000 words of rambling prose.

In this way, we can take our close-minded knee-jerk reactions that would have just wound up being tweets that no one reads and convert them into genuine internet content that no one reads. It’s a very time-consuming way of trying to fool oneself into thinking that one’s opinion has weight and value, and (when the illusion is working) it is totally worth it!

We’ve been posting to The Fraudster’s Almanac for nearly a year and a half. In that time, we’ve written some things that people have enjoyed, and some things that virtually no one has read. We’ve also recently added a new contributor, which has been very entertaining for us and for anyone who has taken the time to read his posts. This isn’t about him, though. And it’s not about the other original contributor. This post is all about me. Me, me, me.

This is my 100th post, and I thought that I’d take a little waltz down memory lane and feature a few of my favourite posts that you may or may not have read.

Doing Things People Like Doing: Visiting a country to relax in it
I’ve done a few other posts in this “series”, but this is the only one that I stealth-announced my engagement in it. This post chronicles my first visit to a tropical, beach-y location and I had a great time writing it. I give really terrific travel advice.

Ready Player One
After seeing the puddle of CGI vomit that’s being called a trailer for Stephen Spielberg’s Ready Player One adaptation, I was reminded of how much I hated that book and how I had once written a lengthy review to that effect. This novel is basically a 40 year old nerd’s dream diary, recounting the time he got to pilot Voltron and fight Shredder and save the world and all of the chicks finally wanted his dingdong because I TOLD YOU MOM I TOLD YOU THAT VIDEO GAMES WERE IMPORTANT. Honestly, the worst thing to come out of all of this is that Ernest Cline is probably now both wealthy and feeling encouraged, instead of sitting in some cubicle somewhere like he should be.

Bard’s Gold Gluten Free Beer
I’ve reviewed a number of very tasty beers that I like very much, but I feel the need to highlight the time that I tried gluten free beer and was absolutely stunned by how miserable it was. It was like being abducted by aliens and placed in a simulation of what they think that “real life” is like, but everything is slightly off and also this is their idea of what a bad beer would taste like. Just yuck!

New Music Monday: May 30, 2016
We’ve done a pile of these New Music Monday posts, but I’m not sure that any of them have captured my true voice as well as this one that I did entirely with animated GIF reviews.

Pearl Jam: Reevaluated
I’m currently taking a listen to the catalogues of both Nine Inch Nails and Phil Collins, but the real patient zero for long-form career-spanning idiocy on this blog was Pearl Jam. I dedicated many hours and many words to challenging my long-held belief that Pearl Jam were lousy, only to come out on the other end thinking that they were mediocre but occasionally passable. It was a real journey and it has made a profound impact on who I am as a person. You can start at the beginning, but this final ranking of all of Pearl Jam’s records serves as a reasonable summary.

These are a handful of pieces that have been memorable to me, and many of them were not even vessels that I used in order to make some large life announcement on Facebook. Now that is saying something. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read these words, and to my good buddies who write them with me.

I quit.

Author: markmeeks

squid goals

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