Smuttynose Robust Porter

You can tell it’s dark days for the Fraudsters team when three of the last five posts are beer. Ominous! Plus, I’m in Toronto and having a beer tonight, so stay tuned for more.

I’m a Canadian living just outside of Boston these days (seems like nobody actually lives in Boston, only near it) and as such, my local beer options are exclusively American. Smuttynose is a New Hampshire brewery that seems pretty prevalent at most of the local liquor stores, and I take it that it’s one of those small-but-not-so-small places, like Mill Street was for years. That should give you an idea of the quality of the beer right up front.

The Bottle: Standard 355mL bottle. Decently fun black & white photo. Boring font for the beer’s name, though. Looks like somebody used an office labeller to make a sticker. Comes in a six pack, which means I was stuck with this beer for (by my standards) the long haul.

Which part of this image will be symbolic, the rainy tears or the hopeful rainbow?

The Colour: Black. Definitely black. What did you expect from a porter?

The Flavour: I expected something more from a porter. It’s all sweetness with no body, and kind of a vaguely fruity, syrupy aftertaste. It’s exactly why people who don’t like dark beers say they don’t like dark beers, even though they don’t all have to taste as empty and sugary as this. Smuttynose claims this beer is “dark, roasty, and mysterious”. Smuttynose are a bunch of liars. Although I guess it is dark.

The Verdict: There are a million billion beers on the market. There is no reason for you to drink this beer unless you’re sick and you don’t like the flavour of regular cough syrup.